I wonder if when I’m older, well off, and more mature, I’ll remember when I was 22, headed nowhere, sitting in my apartment alone at 2 a.m. drinking Yuengling and yelling at the characters in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.

I dance a lot more now that I live alone.

HOPE YOU READ THIS.

Let bygones be bygones, and let the past stay past.

If you forget, there’s nothing left to forgive.

And if you can’t forget, you’ll probably go crazy, in slowly diminishing torrents, for the rest of your star-crossed life. Good luck.

I’m sorry.

I LOVE IT WHEN I THOUGHT I PUSHED A BUTTTONNN BUT I DIDN’T WANNA AND THEN IT TURNS OUT I DIDN’T PUSH THE BUTTONNN!!!!!

I’m going to start the Facebook group “WHERE ARE MY GLASSES?? Oh here they are, on my face.” and get thousands of stupid high schoolers to join it and then monetize the shit out of it. Who wants to design a hip t-shirt?

… Fuck. I did not research this one before writing it. Apparently there are already lots of pages/groups with this title or similar. Just do a Facebook search for “glasses face”. But god dammit, I want to monetize the shit out of something. Who wants to design a hip t-shirt?